Friday, October 2, 2009

Hitting the Bottom

So 2006 was off with a BANG!

From the selling floor to Champagne on New Year's Eve, to Chili and Black-eyed Peas on New Year's day, to passing out and nearly bleeding to death, through the ER to ICU and now confined to a hospital bed with a multitude of tubes going every which way. I guess it beat the alternative.

As I lay there in the dark of night unable to sleep with the night noises of the hospital echoing down the halls I had plenty of time to grapple with the reality of the future. The days of Stubborn Stupidity had run their course, thankfully just short of their logical end. I was alive thanks to the generosity of the many who had donated blood. My kidney was still working, barely. My future would at some point be dependent on either machines or a living organ from another person. The psychological adjustment was not easy. The path led through dark nights of depression and despair.

Depression and despair was aggravated by my intense desire to go home. Some doctors would soft pedal and say it was possible, but the final decision was my neprologist who for some strange reason, didn't trust me to follow up. It was a long weekend in the hospital capped off by the decision to administer another round of transfusions. 

The next question became the ureter stent that was now almost 6 months past the time it should be been replaced. (Damn, stents are just temporary?) The surgery was scheduled for the middle of the week, which meant a couple of days in a hospital bed. At this point I had been on IV's for over a week. My feet and ankles were so swollen and sore that standing was extremely painful. Just hobbling to the bathroom was difficult. The old stent came out smoothly (evidently salt and mineral deposits from continued exposure to urine can make removal of an old stent a little difficult and damaging to the internal tubing.) 

After almost two weeks in the hospital, I was finally discharged. I was taken to my parents' house so I could have continuous care. I had to use a walker.

I had finally hit the bottom.

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